Funny Jokes!

We've been around since 1999 so you know we've got a ton of jokes. Since we were around pre-social media days, we had it so you could email jokes to your friends before. But now with Facebook, it's as easy as clicking Share. So start emailing or clicking!

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Top 10 Dirty Jokes

These 10 jokes are the most sent dirty jokes on - that is how we rank their popularity. So if you see a joke you like and want to get it on this list, email it to your friends!
(Sung to the tune from 'Beverly Hillbillies')

Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named John.
A poor Ex-Marine with a little fraction gone
It seems one night after getting with the wife
She lopped off his dong with the swipe of a knife.

Penis, that is.
Clean cut.
Missed his nuts.

Well, the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side
And Lorena's in the car taking Willie for a ride
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend
And tossed him out the window as she came around a bend

Curve, that is
Tossed the nub.
In the shrub.

She went to the cops and confessed to the attack
And they called out the hounds just to get his Weenie back
They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "over there!"
To John Wayne's henry that was waving in the air.

Found, that is
By a fence.

Now Peter and John couldn't stay apart too long
So a dick Doc said, "Hey I can fix that dong."

A needle and a thread is all we're gonna need
And the whole world waited 'til they heard that Johnny peed

Whizzed, that is
Even seam,
Straight stream

Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court
With a half-assed lawyer cause his assets came up short
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape
And his pecker was the only thing they didn't show on tape

Video, that is
Case closed.
Ya'll sleep on your stomachs now, ya hear.
Seeking a raise

I,the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labour
I work at great depths
I work head first
I do not get RDO's, weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Response from People & Quality:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
You do not always follow the order of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
You take a lot of non-rostered breaks
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe OH&S; measures, such as wearing the correct protective outfits
You don't wait till pension age before retiring
You don't like working double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the work place carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.