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Obama Jokes

Hello! Anyone Home?

Hello! Anyone Home?

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A little boy who wanted $100 very badly prayed and prayed for two weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to God requesting the $100.

When the postal authorities received the letter to "God, USA," they decided to send it to President Obama. The president was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5 bill. Mr. Obama thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5, and immediately sat down to write a thank you note to God which read "Dear God, Thank you for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C., and as usual, those politicians deducted $95."




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Obama was leaving the country club golf course when he was accosted by an armed robber who demanded, "Give me all of your money!"

Barack haughtily replied, "Do you know who I am. I'm the President of the United States!"

The robber snarled back, "Then give me all my money."






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Obama claims that he has a balanced budget plan. It's exactly one half smoke and one half mirrors.




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If you voted for Obama in 2008, it proved you are not a racist. If you vote for Obama again in 2012, it will prove that you are one.




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One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman... and so forth.

However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes to music in front of other men, and they put money in his underwear. If the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little Justin aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?

"No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee and helped to get Obama elected, but it's too embarrassing to say that in front of the other kids."




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President Obama decided to do one of his public addresses against the backdrop of an American farm, but the ceremony couldn't get started because of all the flies buzzing around his head.

Obama demanded to know why the flies wouldn't leave, so the farmer explained to him, "Well, those are called circle flies. They always circle around the back end of horses."

Obama angrily replied, "Hey, are you saying that I'm a horse's ass?"

The farmer answered, "No Sir, Mister President. I would never call someone a horse's ass. It's hard to fool them flies though."




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If Obama reduces a proposed increase in spending, he counts it as a budget cut.




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Have you heard about the new Obama Happy Meal for kids at McDonalds? It comes with a promise that they'll get a toy someday.




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Q. What does Barack Obama call illegal aliens?

A. Undocumented Democrats.




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Q. What's the difference between Jesus And Obama?

A. Jesus could build a cabinet




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Q: What's the difference between Jesus and Obama?

A: Jesus never thought he was Obama




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Beer is better than Obama because imported beer doesn’t pretend to be domestic.




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America once had Johnny Cash, Steve Jobs and Bob Hope.

Now we have Barack Obama, no cash, no jobs and no hope.




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The Pope and Obama were on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leans towards Mr. Obama and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"

Obama replied, "I seriously doubt that! With one little wave of your hand? ....Show me!"

So the Pope backhanded him and knocked him off the stage!

The crowd roared wildly and there was happiness throughout the land!