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Dirty Men Jokes

121 Dirty Men Jokes
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One day a father of three daughters decides that it is time to talk to his daughters about sex.

He enters his first daughters room, whips it out and says, "darling this is a penis".

The daughters replies, "oooh, I didn't know that daddy. Thanks for telling me".

He then enters his second daughters room, whips it out and tells her, "honey bunch this is a penis".

"Okay, thanks for telling me daddy", the daughter replies.

He then enters his third daughter room and says, "Sweetie, this is a penis".

And his daughter replies, "You call that a penis!!"




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Three men had a car accident and they all lost their dicks. The first man goes to the doctor and he gives him a wood dick. The second man came in and the doctor gave him a steel dick, and the third man came in and the doctor gave him an electric dick.

The next day the first man came back saying, "I hate you doc, every time I fuck my girlfriend she gets splinters."

The second man came in saying, "I hate you doc, every time I fuck my girlfriend she gets chills."

The third man came in and said, "I love you doc, every time I fuck my girlfriend her tits light up!"


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Joe is having a drink in his local bar when in walks this gorgeous woman. Joe, not being too shy, goes up and sits next to her and buys her a drink and then another and then another.

After this and the accompanying small-talk, Joe asks her back to his place for a "good time".

"Look," says the woman, "what do you think I am? I don't turn into a slut after 3 drinks, you know!"

"OK," replies Joe, "so how many does it take?"


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A guy gets home late one night and his wife says, "Where the hell have you been?"

"I was out getting a tattoo."

"A tattoo? What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred dollar bill on my penis."

"What the hell were you thinking? Why did you get a hundred dollar bill on your penis?"

"Well, number one, I like to watch my money grow. Number two, once in a while, I like to play with my money.

And lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytimeyou want!"


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  1. The Doctor because he says, "Take off your clothes"
  2. The Dentist because he says, "Open Wide"
  3. The hairdresser because he says, "Do youwant it teased or blown"
  4. The Milkman because he says, "Do you wantit in front or in back?"
  5. The Interior Decorator because he says, "Once you have it all in, you'll love it."
  6. The Banker because he says, "If you take itout to soon, you'll lose interest."
  7. The Police Officer because hesays, "Spread 'em"
  8. The Mailman because he always delivershis package.
  9. The Pilot because he takes off fast andthen slows down.
  10. The Hunter because he always goes deep inthe bush, shoots twice.




121 Dirty Men Jokes
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