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Dirty Children Jokes

74 Dirty Children Jokes
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There was a little boy whose mother was about to have a baby.

One day the little boy walked in and saw his mother naked and he asked what was the hair in between her legs?

She responded, "It's my washcloth".

Weeks later after the mother had the baby, the young boy walked in on his mother again, but while she was in the hospital the doctor shaved her pubic hair, and the boy asked his mother: "What happened to your washcloth?"

The mother responded, "I lost it".

The little boy trying to be helpful set out to find his mother's washcloth. A few days later the little boy went running to his mother yelling and screaming, I found your washcloth, the mother thinking that the child was just playing went along with the boy and asked, "Where did you find it?"

Theboy answered, "The maid has it and she is washing daddy's face with it."






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Little Johnny came home from school one day slightly confused. His mother was Jewish and his father was black. So Johnny says, "Mom, am I more Jewish or more black?"

"What does it really matter? You'll just have to ask your father", his mother tells him. So Johnny's father gets home from work and Johnny asks the same question, "Dad, am I more Jewish or more black?" "What kind of a question is that, does it really matter? Why do you want to know if you're more Jewish or black?" asks his dad.

"Well, it's like this dad. Tommy down the street wants to sell his bicycle for $50, I don't know whether to Jew him down to $25, or wait till its dark and steal the fucker.




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A little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents bedroom.

Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy , every night I hear you and daddy making noise and when I look in you're bouncing up and down on him".

His mom is taken by suprise and says "Oh... well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."

The little boy says, That won't work"

His Mom says, "WHY?"

The little boy replies "Because the lady next door comes over, after you leave, and blows him back up!!"




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One day little Susie went into her back yard and found her dog Muffles lying dead with its legs up in the air. She asked, "Daddy, Daddy why is Muffles legs in the air?" Thinking quickly, her dad replied, "This way Jesus can come down and take Muffles to heaven easier."

The next day when Susie’s dad came home she ran up to him and said,"Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today." Flustered, her father said,"Honey what happened?" And Susie said, "Well Mommy's legs were upin the air and she was screaming 'Oh Jesus I'm coming I'm coming' andif it wasn't for the milkman holding her down she would have been agonner."




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Little Johnny kept disrupting his third grade class by regularly letting loud farts.

His teacher kept him after school. When she insisted on knowing why he exhibited such offensive behavior, Little Johnny said, "I do it because I can do it better than anybody, and I'm very proud of that fact."

The teacher says, "If I show you I can do it better than you, will you stop?"

Little Johnny agreed and the teacher placed two pieces of paper on the floor with identical piles of chalk dust on each one. Johnny dropped his pants, squatted down, farted and blew all but a tiny little speck of dust off the paper.

The teacher dropped her panties, lifted her skirt, squatted down and farted, but when she was done there was not a trace of chalk dust left on the paper. Johnny was astonished and asked if he could see her do it again. She was willing and as she repeated the process, Johnny peeked up underneath her skirt.

"No wonder you won!" he exclaimed indignantly, "You've got a Double-Barrel!"




74 Dirty Children Jokes
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