Funny Jokes!

We've been around since 1999 so you know we've got a ton of jokes. Since we were around pre-social media days, we had it so you could email jokes to your friends before. But now with Facebook, it's as easy as clicking Share. So start emailing or clicking!

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The rescue squad was called to the home of an elderly couple for an apparent heart attack the gentleman had. When the squad got there is was too late and the man had died.

While consoling the wife one of the rescuers noticed that the bed was a mess. He asked the lady what symptoms the man had suffered and if anything had precipitated the heart attack.

The lady replied, "Well, we were in the bed making love and he started moaning, groaning, thrashing about the bed, panting, and sweating. I thought he was coming, but I guess he was going."

A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. One day she picked up the urn he was in and poured him out on the counter.

Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me, Irving?" She answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!"

She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?" She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!"

Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving, remember that blowjob I promised you? Here it comes..."

The doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast. As he stormed out of the house, the man angrily yelled to his wife, "You aren't that good in bed either!"

By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home. After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answered the phone. "What took you so long to answer and why are you panting?"

"I was in bed."

"What in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?"

"Getting a second opinion"