These jokes are for those who are like tl;dr...
Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
NASA's robot Curiosity landing on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN, beer or porn.
This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars.
Q: How does Mormon presidential candidate Mitt Romney expect to win the soccer mom vote?
A: By marrying all of them!
Q: Why is it a good thing that Mitt Romney doesn't drink beer?
A: Because no one would want to have one with him.
What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.