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88 Clean Men Jokes
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Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women?
- Women working at 900 numbers.

Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, a good lover and a stimulating partner?
- In the pages of a romance novel.

What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
- Exchange him.

Why is the book "Women Who Love Too Much" a disappointment for many men?
- No phone numbers.

Why do men like smart women?
- Opposites attract.




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A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. An Irish cop pulls him over and asks, "Where have you been?"

"I've been to the pub," slurs the drunk. "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few."

"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.

"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."




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While escaped, a convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple whohad been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants to have sex withyou, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it."

"Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me he thinks you are really cute!"




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A retired gentleman went into the social security office to apply for Social Security. After waiting in line a long time he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driversí license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home.

He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "Will I have to go home and come back now?" he asks.

The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt."

He opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair.

She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me.", and she processes his Social Security application.

When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office.

She says, "You should have dropped your pants, you might have qualified for disability, too."




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HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
  • Compliment her
  • cuddle her
  • kiss her
  • caress her
  • love her
  • stroke her
  • tease her
  • comfort her
  • protect her
  • hug her
  • hold her
  • spend money on her
  • wine & dine her
  • buy things for her
  • listen to her
  • care for her
  • stand by her
  • support her
  • go to the ends of the earth for her....
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:
  • Show up naked.



88 Clean Men Jokes
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