- You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
- You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
- You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
- The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1 page, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
- At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
- The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
- Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
- You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
- You find -40C a little chilly.
- The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.
- You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Canadian friends.