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What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg?

We don't fucking know, they haven't met yet!




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Did you hear about the new paint on the market?

It's called Blonde. It's not very bright, but it spreads easy!


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One day, a blonde who lived on the 12th floor of a high-rise apartment building was out on her balcony, flapping the bed sheets to air them out, when suddenly a great gust of wind caught the sheets and sent her over the edge, plummeting to her death.

Without warning, a man on the 10th floor balcony stuck his arms out into the air, catching the woman.

Delirious from shock, the woman shouted, "Oh, thank you! You saved my life, thank you!"

The man replied, "Do you suck?"

Stunned at this, the woman said, "No, I don't suck!"

And with that, the man let go of her.

"Shit!" the woman thought as she began to plummet again. Suddenly, another set of arms grabbed her at the 9th floor.

"Thank God!" she screamed. "I would have died if it weren't for you!"

The man asked, "Do you fuck?"

Absolutely aghast, the woman answered, "No, I don't fuck!"

Once again, the arms that held her safe were no longer there. Falling again, the woman thought that she would surely die. Just then, a set of arms stretched out from the 7th floor.

Not believing her luck, the woman shouted, "I suck! I fuck!"

"Slut," the man said, and dropped her.


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A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town.

He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says,"OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person... because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large. All in the name of humor."

Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, "You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little fucker on your knee!"




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Q.Why are Blonde's coffins shaped like a triangle?

A.Because everytime their head hits a pillow their legs open.


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