Funny Dirty Jokes
A guy spent the day walking around town looking for a job. He finally walked into an adult store. "Do you have any work for me?" he asked the owner. The owner smiled and responded, "You come as if you have been sent from heaven. I just opened another store and I'm looking for someone to mind this store for me." "When do I start?" the guy asked. "Now. I'm leaving for the other store shortly." The owner explained all the ins and outs and then left. First to enter the store was a Caucasian woman. She walked around and stopped at the dildo rack. "How much for the white dildo?" "Forty dollars," he said. "How much for the black dildo?" "Forty dollars." "Give me the . . . uh, black one. I've never had a black one before." She paid and left. Soon an African-American woman walked in. She too walked around and stopped at the dildo rack. "How much for the black dildo?" she asked. "Forty dollars." "How much for the white dildo?" "Forty dollars." After thinking a moment, the woman said, "Give me the . . . uh, white one. I've never had a white one before." She paid and left. Then a blonde woman walked in. She walked around and stopped at the dildo rack. "How much for the white dildo?" she asked. "Forty dollars." "How much for the black dildo?" "Forty dollars." "And how much for the checkered one on your counter there?" "Two hundred dollars." "Give me . . . uh, the checkered one. I've never had a checkered one before." She paid and left. Closing time came around and the owner returned. "How was your first day?" "Great!" the guy responded. "I sold a white and a black dildo for forty bucks each, and I sold your thermos for two hundred." |
A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying "T-G-I-F". He smiled at her and replied "S-H-I-T". She looked at him, puzzled, and said "T-G-I-F" again. He acknowledged her remark again by answering "S-H-I-T". The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F" another time. The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, "S-H-I-T". The blonde finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F, T-hank G-od I-ts F-riday; get it?" The man answered, "S-orry H-oney, I-t's T-hursday". |
How did the blonde get lipstick on her steering wheel? She was trying to blow the horn!!! |
Why do blondes wear big hoop earings? It's a place to rest their ankles. |
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He goes through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a big Blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says: "I've heard just about enough of your denigrating Blonde jokes!!! "What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being?"It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community and reaching my full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against Blondes... all in the name of humor!!" Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up... "You stay out of this, I'm talking to that little son-of-a-bitch sitting on your knee! |