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Two blondes were working on a house. The one who was nailing down siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in.

The other blonde, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"

The first blonde explained, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it's pointed toward me, I throw it away 'cause it's defective. If it's pointed toward the house, then I nail it in!"

The second blonde got completely upset and yelled, "You MORON! The nails pointed toward you aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"




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A woman hired a contractor to repaint the interior of her house. The woman walked the man through the second floor of her home and told him what colors she wanted for each room. As they walked through the first room, the woman said, "I think I would like this room in a cream color."

The contractor wrote on his clipboard, walked to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!" He then closed the window and continued following the woman to the next room. The woman looked confused, but proceeded with her tour. "In this room, I was thinking of an off blue."

Again, the contractor wrote this down, went to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!"

This baffled the woman, but she was hesitant to say anything. In the next room, the woman said she would like it painted in a light rose color. And once more, the contractor opened the window and yelled, "Green side up!"

Struck with curiosity, the woman mustered up the nerve to ask, "Why do you keep yelling 'Green side up' out my window every time I tell you the color I would like the room?"

The contractor replied, "Because I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street."


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The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

The blonde quickly responded, "The living one."


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Why did the Blonde throw butter out of the window?

Because she wanted to see a "Butterfly"!

Why did the blonde throw fire out of the window?

Because she wanted to see a "Firefly"!

Why did the blonde throw her mother out of the window?

Because she wanted to see her "Motherland"!

Why did the blonde throw herself out of the window?

You know dummy, because she was a Blonde!


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A girl asked her friend, a dumb blonde, "How is your new boyfriend?"

The blonde replied, "He's nice except for one thing. He changes shapes!"

"What do you mean?! How?"

The blonde said, "When he leaves the bed after making love, he comes back looking entirely different. Even his clothes and face have changed... and he wants to make love again and again.

And this happens all during the night!"


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