Funny Clean Jokes

Q: How do you drown a blonde?

A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

A young woman went to a doctor and told him, "You have to help me. I hurt all over."

"What do you mean?" asked the doctor. The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow! That hurts."

Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too."

Then she touched her right earlobe. "Ow, even that hurts."

The doctor asked the woman, "Are you a natural blonde?"

"Why yes," she said.

"I thought so," said the doctor. "You have a sprained finger."

A pretty blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune...

Bill, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

Bambi, the buxom young blonde told her friend, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off when I took my car in for maintenance."

"Did he try to repair something that wasn't broken?", Bambi's friend asked.

"No, he didn't."

"Did he try to overcharge you?"

"No. In fact, all he said I needed was blinker fluid."

Why did the blonde smile everytime there was a flash of lightning?

A: She thought someone was taking her picture.