Funny Clean Jokes

A young woman went to a doctor and told him, "You have to help me. I hurt all over."

"What do you mean?" asked the doctor. The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow! That hurts."

Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too."

Then she touched her right earlobe. "Ow, even that hurts."

The doctor asked the woman, "Are you a natural blonde?"

"Why yes," she said.

"I thought so," said the doctor. "You have a sprained finger."

There were 3 men in a bar (a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead). They were rather drunk, and the brunette decided to place a stupid bet.

"I bet I can collect more ping pong balls than you guys in one week!" he said. The blonde and the redhead both went for the challenge and said they would go for it. One week passed by.

The brunette returned to the bar first. Shortly after he got there, the redhead walked in. The brunette asked, "How many ping pong balls did you get? I got 150!" he gloated.

The redhead said, "I got 200! HA!! But where's that blonde guy that was here? Have you seen him?"

"Nope." said the brunette.

Just then, the blonde rolled in to the bar in a wheel chair. He had tow casts on his legs, a sling on his arm, and a neck brace.

"You look like crap!" said the redhead. "How many ping pong balls did you get?"

"What?! Ping pong balls? I thought you said King Kong's balls!"

A blonde is roller-skating down the board-walk one day. She's just skating along in her lycra shorts, smiling at everyone, listening to her Walkman. She decides that she really needs a haircut. She skates into the first salon she sees and goes up to the hairdresser and says, "I need a haircut."

The hairdresser checks her out and says, "OK, sit down and take off your headphones."

"No way!" shouts the blonde, "If I take off my headphones, I'll die!"

"Then I can't give you a haircut," replies the hairdresser.

So the blonde gets up and leaves and skates further down the board-walk. She sees another salon, goes in, and says to the hairdresser, "I need a haircut... but you can't take off my headphones or I'll die!"

The hairdresser looks at her a little weird, but says, "OK, no problem. Have a seat." So the blonde sits down and the hairdresser comes up behind her, and when she isn't looking, he rips the headphones off her head.

Suddenly the blonde starts choking, and soon turns blue in the face, then keels over and dies right there in the salon chair.

The hairdresser is a little freaked by this. He leans over and cautiously listens into the blonde's headphones and he hears...

"Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

What do you call four blondes in a car?

Air conditioning.

How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle?

Shine a flashlight in her ear.