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Are You Ready For Some Football?!It's that time of year again! Yep. You got it. Time for me to start getting depressed with each Dolphin loss. Just kidding. I am a big Dolphin fan, though. Have been since Marino was a 2nd-year player. And now, they've finally filled their void at the position since he left. Wow, has it already been over 5 years since he's been gone? Anyway -- back to today's game. The Miami Dolphins open the season against the defending Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers, but they're going to see a far different team than the one that walked off with the final win of the 2006 season. That bodes well for Miami, a team with a lot of turnover that's trying to pick up right where they left off -- on a winning note, having won their final 6 games last season. If they don't get things rolling tonight, at least I've given you fair warning for when I start ranting Get Paid To Take Surveys! I gotta throw this one out there to a longtime member of EmailAJoke: Gerry, Miami's coming to take the Patriots' spot atop the division this year!  On the next, EmailAJoke.com... The Hasidic Jew faceplants and his face becomes as red as this! (Rosa Amelia Barraza, you give Hispanic women a bad name) |
| No Drinks For Bears in Baraboo |
A bear walks into a bar in Baraboo, Wisconsin and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says," We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Baraboo." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender again tells him," We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Baraboo." The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender once again says "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bears in bars in Baraboo." The bear goes to the end of the bar, and as promised, and eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bears in bars in Baraboo that are on drugs." The bear says, " I'm not on drugs." The bartender says," Yes you are, that was abarbitchyouate." |
| Sign Language |
A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. The man realizes that he can't find the rake. He yells up to his wife, "Where is the rake?" She can't hear him and shouts back, "What?" The man first points to his eye, then points to his knee and finally makes a raking motion. The wife is not sure and says, "What?" The man repeats his gestures, mouthing "EYE KNEE - THE RAKE." The wife replies that she understands and signals back. She first points to her eye, next she points to her left breast, then she points to her butt, and finally to her crotch. Well, there is no way in hell the man can even come close on that one. Exasperated, he goes upstairs and asks her "What in the heck was that?" She replies, "EYE - LEFT TIT - BEHIND - THE BUSH" |
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