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I apologize for the last batch of e-mails that went out. There was an error in that I didn't include my personal message. This is what should have been included.
Well, well, well. I'm back again!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know I always say I'm back! and then disappear again, but I think this time I mean it. See, I almost gave up on EmailAJoke a couple of weeks ago because my host was jerking me around and I started to think it was more trouble than it was worth.
1Over the next couple of days I realized I didn't want to give it up. If that's the case, I couldn't very well leave it there collecting cyber-dust as it had been. So I hopped back to it.
You'll notice a couple of changes once you go to the site:
- I have begun updating the new pictures again - (clean pics / dirty pics)
- I have added a videos section. I'm not going to try to put ALL the funny videos on this page as that'd be ridiculous. But I am going to put the classics on there. Things that keep me cracking up every time I see it
- There will be upgrades to other areas slowly but surely
- There's a whole mess of ads on the site. Hey, I'm staying away from pop-ups at least. But as much as this site has been a drain on me financially, I've got to do something to try to at least break even. Especially since
I have my first child on the way!
So sit back, enjoy and read some of my funny jokes. Hell, forward them to your friends. And for God's sake, please do not report this as spam. You signed up for it AND had to confirm. It's not my fault that it's been so long since I've sent a mailing list out that you forgot who EmailAJoke was.
Ok, it actually is my fault.
Don't Be Late For Halloween!
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| Cheerleaders | Female cheerleaders are cute, sexy, fresh, and all American.
Male cheerleaders are scary.
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| Men vs. Women | The Perfect Day for Her:
- 8:15 Wakeup to hugs and kisses
- 8:30 Weigh in 5lbs lighter than yesterday
- 8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and
croissants 9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil 10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer
- 10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo and comb out
- 12:00 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
- 12:45 Notice ex-boyfriends wife, she has gained 30lbs
- 1:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
- 3:00 Nap
- 4:00 3 dozens roses delivered by florist, card is from
secret admirer
- 4:15 Light workout at club, followed by gentle massage
- 5:30 Pick out outfit for dinner, prim before the mirror
- 7:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing
- 10:00 Hot shower (alone)
- 10:30 Make love
- 11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
- 11:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms
The Perfect Day for Him!
- 6:00 Alarm
- 6:15 Blowjob
- 6:30 Massive dump while reading sports section of USA Today
- 7:00 Breakfast, Filet mignon and eggs, toast and coffee
- 7:30 Limo arrives
- 7:45 Stoli Bloody Mary enroute to airport
- 8:15 DFW - Private G4 to Augusta, Georgia (Coffee, SI and
WSJ)
- 9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club
- 9:45 Front nine at Augusta (2 under)
- 11:45 Lunch, 2 dozen oysters on the half shell, 3 Heinekens
- 12:15 Blowjob
- 12:30 Back nine Augusta (4 under)
- 2:15 Limo back to airport (Bombay martini)
- 2:30 Private G4, Augusta to Nassau, Bahamas (nap)
- 3:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female
(topless) crew
- 4:30 Land World Record light tackle Marlin (1249 lbs)
- 5:00 G4 back to DFW, massage & hand job enroute by naked Kathy Ireland
- 6:45 Shit, shower and shave
- 7:00 Watch CNN newsflash: Clinton resigns, Hillary and Al Gore farm animal video released and authenticated.
(Hillary has a secret mole, Al looks real cold)
- 7:30 Dinner, Lobster appetizers, Dom Perigon (1963), 20 oz. New York Steak
- 9:00 Remy Martin and Cuban Partagas cigar
- 9:30 Sex with three women
- 11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi
- 11:45 Bed (alone)
- 11:50 12 second, 4 note fart, dog leaves the room
- 11:55 Sleep
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