You Think You're Broke Now?

The pope receives a call from Frank Perdue one day. Frank says to the pope,"Holy Father, I have a great proposal I'd like you to consider. I would like to pay the Church one million dollars in return for your agreement to change the words of the Our Father from: '...give us our daily bread' to 'give us our daily CHICKEN'.

The pope says, "Frank that is an interesting offer, but no thanks."

Mr. Perdue comes back with, "OK how about 10 million bucks?" The pope says, "That really is quite an offer Frank, but I'm sorry I can't change the Lord's Prayer that easily!"

Finally, the chicken executive says, "John Paul, you drive a hard bargain, my final offer is $100 Million dollars to change the prayer to 'chicken'.

The pope replies, "Wow! Frank,I'll have to meet with my cardinals and bishops and then get back to you on this offer."

The next day the pope calls a meeting of all the cardinals and bishops. As the meeting comes to order he says, "Guys, I have received quite an offer, we have a chance to get $100 million dollars with which we could do a lot of good in this world.

However, the downside is we may lose the Wonder Bread account."

Marcus and Yacov, two Hasidic Jews, went to Pincus the tailor for new suits.

"Pincus," Yacov said, "the last time we came to you for new suits, we told you we wanted black suits. The suits you made were not black. They were sort of dark grey maybe, but not black, We need new suits, and this time we want black suits, from the darkest cloth there is."

Pincus reached behind for a bolt of cloth and he said, "See this cloth? It is from this fabric that I make the habits for nuns. In all the world," Pincus said, fingering the bolt of fabric, "there is no blacker cloth than the cloth I make nun's habits from, and it is from this cloth that I'll make your new suits!"

A few weeks later the two Hasidic Jews were walking down the street in their new suits when they passed two nuns. Impulsively, on a whim, one of the men went up to one of the nuns. He grabbed her sleeve and held it up against his own. Then, in an angry voice, he muttered something to his friend and they both walked on.

"What did that man want?" one nun asked the other.

"I don't know," she replied. "he looked at my garment, said something in Latin, and left."

"In Latin?" asked the first nun. "What did he say?"

He said, "Marcus, Pincus fuctus."