HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:

• Compliment her
• cuddle her
• kiss her
• caress her
• love her
• stroke her
• tease her
• comfort her
• protect her
• hug her
• hold her
• spend money on her
• wine & dine her
• buy things for her
• listen to her
• care for her
• stand by her
• support her
• go to the ends of the earth for her....

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:

• Show up naked.

A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying "T-G-I-F".

He smiled at her and replied "S-H-I-T".

She looked at him, puzzled, and said "T-G-I-F" again.

He acknowledged her remark again by answering "S-H-I-T".

The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F" another time.

The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, "S-H-I-T".

The blonde finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F, T-hank G-od I-ts F-riday; get it?"

The man answered, "S-orry H-oney, I-t's T-hursday".