When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, it did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian reservation.

One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question which his son translated. "What are these guys in the big suits doing?"

A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old man got all excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts.

Recognizing a promotional opportunity for the spin-doctors, the NASA folks found a tape recorder. After the old man recorded his message, they asked his son to translate it. He refused.

So the NASA reps brought the tape to the reservation, where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed but refused to translate the elder's message to the moon.

Finally, the NASA crew called in an official government translator. He reported that the message said, "Watch out for these guys; they have come to steal your land."

This young man is showering after a hard workout when he notices a 3 foot tall man in the corner of the shower. He can't help but notice how well this little man is endowed. After awhile he walks over to the man and complements him on the size of his "shilaly". This little man tells him that he is a leprechaun with magical power. He tell the young man that if he takes his "shilaly" from behind he will have a 15 inch "shilaly" of his own. After thinking it over the young man agrees. As the midget mounts the young man he ask's several questions.

Leprechaun: You are in good shape laddy, you work out?

Young man: YYYEEEESSSSSSSSS! (he is hurting now)

Leprechaun: A fine lookin' young lad you are too. How old are ya?

Young man: TTTTWWWWEEEENNNNNTTTTYY FFFFIIIIVVVEE (unbearable pain)

Leprechaun: Laddy, aren't you a little old to believe in Leprechauns?