Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach.

I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say, "You as horny as I am?"

"And she always acts like she's sound asleep!"

Height of Unemployment
    - Cobwebs in the pussy of a prostitute.

Height of Trouble
  - A one handed man hanging from a cliff and his ass is itching.

Height of Technology
  - Condom with a zip.

Height of Sophistication
  - Sucking nipples with a straw.

Height of patience
  - A naked woman lying down with her legs apart under a banana tree.

Height of Innocence
  - A teenager girl applying ointment to her nipples.

Height of frustration
  - A boxer trying to scratch his balls.

Height of Disgust
  - While wiping after a good shit, your finger pokes through the paper.

Height of Competition
  - A guy pissing beside a waterfall.