1. You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
3. You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
4. You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
5. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1 page, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
6. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
7. The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
8. Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
9. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
10. You find -40C a little chilly.
11. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.
12. You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Canadian friends.

This blonde heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."

The milkman asked, "Pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No. Just up to my tits."