1. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says

2. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers

3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

4. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case

5. Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

6. Farmer Bill Dies In House

7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

8. Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?

9. Stud Tires Out

10. Prostitutes Appeal To Pope

11. Panda Mating Fails: Veterinarian Takes Over

12. Soviet Virgin Lands Short Of Goal Again

13. British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands

14. Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms

15. Eye Drops Off Shelf

16. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

17. Reagan Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead

18. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

19. Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

20. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

21. Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told

22. Miners Refuse to Work After Death

23. Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant

24. Stolen Painting Found By Tree

25. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

26. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter

27. Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years

28. Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One

29. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84

30. War Dims Hope For Peace

31. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

32. Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures

33. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

34. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

35. Deer Kill 17,000

36. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

37. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

38. New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group

39. Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft

40. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

41. Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Needy

42. Arson Suspect Is Held In Massachusetts Fire

43. British Union Finds Dwarves In Short Supply

44. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

45. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

46. Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half

47. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

48. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

49. Deaf College Opens Doors To Hearing

50. Air Head Fired

51. Steals Clock, Faces Time

52. Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff

53. Old School Pillars are Replaced By Alumni

54. Bank Drive-In Window Blocked By Board

55. Hospitals are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors

56. Some Pieces Of Rock Hudson Sold At Auction

57. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training

58. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

59. Police Discovered Pot Plants Were Really Cannabis

60. Headless Body Found In Topless Bar

Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back,

He says,"Honey, my hands are freezing!" She says,"Well, put them here between my thighs and that will warm them up." After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, "Man! my hands are really freezing!"

She says again, "Well, put them here between my thighs and warm them up." He does, and again that warms him up. After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop some wood to get them through the night. When he returns, he says again, "Honey, my hands are really, really freezing!"

She looks at him and says, "For crying out loud, don't your ears ever get cold?"