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Ooops, She's Done It AgainThings sure are weird lately. Anna Nicole Smith passes away and apparently Britney Spears feels that void left needs to be filled by someone and she'd be the one who was going to do it. If it wasn't her Kevin Federline-like haircut, it's her stints in rehab that's showing she's gone off the deep end. Yesterday was the 3rd day in a week that she entered and left (well, she hasn't left the 3rd time yet) one of those posh resorts/rehab centers. I don't think employees of the place go in and out as much as she does. But what's up with all these fond memories of Anna Nicole Smith and the way everyone is portraying her as the modern day Marilyn Monroe? Hell, even the judge awarding custody of her daughter to the caretaker of her estate choked up when issuing his verdict. Hello... If you act like this, you're bound to die of something (my guess is it's a drug overdose or suicide) before your time should be up. |
| That's My Beer |
A Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a pub. They proceed to each buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flies landed in each of their pints,and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened. The Irishman too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!" |
| We Float Up To Heaven On Our Backs |
One day little Susie went into her back yard and found her dog Muffles lying dead with its legs up in the air. She asked, "Daddy, Daddy why is Muffles legs in the air?" Thinking quickly, her dad replied, "This way Jesus can come down and take Muffles to heaven easier." The next day when Susie’s dad came home she ran up to him and said, "Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today." Flustered, her father said, "Honey what happened?" And Susie said, "Well Mommy's legs were up in the air and she was screaming 'Oh Jesus I'm coming I'm coming' and if it wasn't for the milkman holding her down she would have been a gonner." |
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