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May 8th. Oh my god. Was that really the last time I sent this joke list? Here's a link to it.

May 8th, 2008

It's funny though, because I sit here ready for Season 2's second episode to start. I'm glad it's not one of those times that you look at something from your past and think 'What was I thinking?' I'm sure Bret Michaels and the 'fellas' think that every time they peak into their past.

Anywho, a lot has changed for me in that time. I now have a son to go along with my daughter -- who is now old enough to be potty trained and has learned from the best!

Enjoy the jokes!


Men & Women At An ATM
Men & Women At An ATM HIM:
  1. Pull up to ATM
  2. Insert card
  3. Enter PIN number and account
  4. Take cash, card and receipt
  5. Go!
HER:
  1. Pull up to ATM
  2. Check makeup in rearview mirror
  3. Shut off engine
  4. Put keys in purse
  5. Get out of car b/c you're too far from machine
  6. Hunt for card in purse
  7. Insert card
  8. Hunt in purse for tampon wrapper with PIN number written on it
  9. Enter PIN number
  10. Study instructions for at least 2 minutes.
  11. Hit "cancel"
  12. Re-enter correct PIN number
  13. Check balance
  14. Look for envelope
  15. Look in purse for pen
  16. Make out deposit slip
  17. Endorse checks
  18. Make deposit
  19. Study instructions
  20. Make cash withdrawal
  21. Get in car
  22. Check makeup
  23. Look for keys
  24. Start car
  25. Check makeup
  26. Start pulling away
  27. STOP
  28. Back up to machine
  29. Get out of car
  30. Take card and receipt
  31. Get back in car
  32. Put card in wallet
  33. Put receipt in checkbook
  34. Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook
  35. Clear area in purse for wallet and checkbook
  36. Check makeup
  37. Put car in gear, reverse
  38. Put car in drive
  39. Drive away from machine
  40. Travel 3 miles
  41. Release parking brake
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Viagra slogans

Viagra Slogans

10. "Viagra. The quicker dicker upper."

9. "Here's the beef!"

8. "Get a piece of the rock."

7. "You've come a long way baby."

6. "Viagra, it plumps when you take 'em."

5. Strong for a man, but made for a woman."

4. "Taste great, more filling."

3. "Viagra, built ram tough."

2. "Just do it!"

1. "This is your penis. This is your penis on Viagra. Any questions?"

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