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I'm not sure what it is. In this picture it's shaped like an Owl, but doesn't quite look like one. In person it looks much more majestic, like a Hawk or an Eagle. He's pretty impressive. This is actually the second time he (or she) has been perched on one of my neighbor's roofs staring down at us. Last time my mother and step-father were in town and they thought it was pretty cool too. More than cool, I think this bird is ballsy. He doesn't flinch or anything, even with a crowd around him... I had time to stare at him (less than 10 feet from me), run in the house and get my digital camera. When I opened the door to go back out, I had to be careful because if my little dachshund comes out, this fella would probably come in and swoop him right away. Anyway, wish me luck. I'm going back to work for the first time in nearly a month today. As some of you who actually read these notes know, I've been pretty sick. So going back to work is a pretty big deal to me. I'm actually looking forward to it. I know. That's pretty bad, right? |
Check this picture out. I took it as I was heading out to the store this morning to get some goodies for the football game.| You Get What You Pray For |
This lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'" "That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship the Lord." "Thank you!" the woman responded. So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house. The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!" |
| Not A Good Diagnosis |
Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to a sex therapist who promised to only take their case if he knew he could help them. After hours of tests, he agreed he could help. He told them to stop at the store on the way home and buy donuts and grapes. Mrs. Smith was to toss the donuts at Mr.Smith's erection and eat the ones that stayed on. Mr.Smith was to roll the grapes across the floor and eat the ones that became lodged in Mrs.Smith's love canal. A few weeks later, the Jones' came to see the doctor. "Our friends the Smiths told us to come to you." they said. The doctor ran the tests and came back to the Jonses'. He told them he was sorry but there was just nothing he could do. The Jonses' said "You helped the Smith's, why won't you help us?" After continued begging from the Jonses', the doc said "ok,ok...stop by the market on the way home and buy a box of Cheerios and a bag of oranges." |
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